Things That Made Dad Cool

DanaC · 03-03-2009, 07:31 AM

I was trying to find some verse to put on the funeral paper thingy...I went on some sites. Was going to try and find something by Kipling or some such (the Indian connection). I also looked at mermorial verses.

I couldn't find anything. So I decided to write my own. This is first draft. I am thinking of playing with the verse order (possibly will reverse 4 and 5). But anyway. I'm pleased with it.

Things that made Dad cool
He was There,
Quietly, never effusively
But always

He played a mean Harmonica,
Soulfully
Like a poet in the wilderness

He knew the value of Beauty
In a garden
In the dance of a bee

He was a Fixer
Of broken
And forgotten things

He knew Stuff
The genus of a flower
The workings of a radio

He was our Dad
And the coolest man
I know.

monster · 03-03-2009, 08:04 AM

it's perfect. And it will be if you change the order too.

Sundae · 03-03-2009, 09:18 AM

Dana I didn't know your Dad had died.
I'm so sorry.

And I think the poem is wonderful.

Shawnee123 · 03-03-2009, 10:29 AM

Dana, that is beautiful. It is perfect for the funeral paper thingy (that's what I would have called it, too.)

dar512 · 03-03-2009, 10:34 AM

Very nice. Makes me wish I had known him.

lumberjim · 03-03-2009, 02:36 PM

Dana, forgive me if this is inappropriate or presumptuous:

Things that made Dad cool

He was always there.
But Quietly,
never effusively

Soulfully,
He played a mean Harmonica,
Like a poet in the wilderness

In the garden,
He knew the value of Beauty,
In the dance of a bee

Of broken and forgotten things,
He was a Fixer.
He knew Stuff,
like the genus of a flower,
and the workings of a radio

He was our Dad
And the coolest man
I know.

:: cries and cries ::

DanaC · 03-03-2009, 03:22 PM

*smiles* not at all presumptious Lj.

I like the reworking (apart from the in the garden bit, the garden was another example of beauty). I like the change in rhythm.

classicman · 03-03-2009, 04:08 PM

Wonderful Dana - You did him proud!

TheMercenary · 03-04-2009, 07:56 AM

Beautiful. It must have been an honor for him to have you as his daughter.

Sheldonrs · 03-04-2009, 09:10 AM

He sounds like he was a great man with a great daughter.

I'd like to write a poem about my father but there are very few words that rhyme with dickhead.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-04-2009, 11:53 AM

Just the way it is, Dana.

You can't change the past.
You couldn't change him.
You shouldn't change you.
You must change the future.

DanaC · 03-04-2009, 12:59 PM

*smiles* thanks all

Mum and Mart both really liked the poem. So it's staying in its original form for the funeral. I may play with it at some later stage.

And yeah

he was a great man. Stubborn, eccentric, brilliant and contradictory. :P

kerosene · 03-04-2009, 03:36 PM

That is so beautiful, Dani. It made me think of my own dad.

Queen of the Ryche · 03-18-2009, 01:15 PM

LOVE IT. Reads a lot like the eulogy I gave for my dad a couple of years ago. Think they're ready for a refill on that tea now.

DanaC · 03-18-2009, 03:00 PM

*smiles*

I read it at the funeral. In the end we didn't do the funeral paper thingies. I just read it, which was nice, because people hadnt already skim read it ahead of me. It went down well. Peope liked it and thought it spoke of dad.

To side-step the whole personal tragedy element of this and be totally vain for a moment: I was really pleased with how it read. I was also pleased with how I read it. It's a piece to be read aloud.

03-03-2009, 07:31 AM	#1
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Things That Made Dad Cool I was trying to find some verse to put on the funeral paper thingy...I went on some sites. Was going to try and find something by Kipling or some such (the Indian connection). I also looked at mermorial verses. I couldn't find anything. So I decided to write my own. This is first draft. I am thinking of playing with the verse order (possibly will reverse 4 and 5). But anyway. I'm pleased with it. Things that made Dad cool He was There, Quietly, never effusively But always He played a mean Harmonica, Soulfully Like a poet in the wilderness He knew the value of Beauty In a garden In the dance of a bee He was a Fixer Of broken And forgotten things He knew Stuff The genus of a flower The workings of a radio He was our Dad And the coolest man I know.

03-03-2009, 08:04 AM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	it's perfect. And it will be if you change the order too. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-03-2009, 09:18 AM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Dana I didn't know your Dad had died. I'm so sorry. And I think the poem is wonderful. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-03-2009, 10:29 AM	#4
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Dana, that is beautiful. It is perfect for the funeral paper thingy (that's what I would have called it, too.) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-03-2009, 10:34 AM	#5
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Very nice. Makes me wish I had known him. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

03-03-2009, 02:36 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Dana, forgive me if this is inappropriate or presumptuous: Things that made Dad cool He was always there. But Quietly, never effusively Soulfully, He played a mean Harmonica, Like a poet in the wilderness In the garden, He knew the value of Beauty, In the dance of a bee Of broken and forgotten things, He was a Fixer. He knew Stuff, like the genus of a flower, and the workings of a radio He was our Dad And the coolest man I know. :: cries and cries :: __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-03-2009, 03:22 PM	#7
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	smiles not at all presumptious Lj. I like the reworking (apart from the in the garden bit, the garden was another example of beauty). I like the change in rhythm.

03-03-2009, 04:08 PM	#8
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Wonderful Dana - You did him proud! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-04-2009, 07:56 AM	#9
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Beautiful. It must have been an honor for him to have you as his daughter. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

03-04-2009, 09:10 AM	#10
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	He sounds like he was a great man with a great daughter. I'd like to write a poem about my father but there are very few words that rhyme with dickhead. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-04-2009, 11:53 AM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Just the way it is, Dana. You can't change the past. You couldn't change him. You shouldn't change you. You must change the future. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-04-2009, 12:59 PM	#12
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	smiles thanks all Mum and Mart both really liked the poem. So it's staying in its original form for the funeral. I may play with it at some later stage. And yeah he was a great man. Stubborn, eccentric, brilliant and contradictory. :P

03-04-2009, 03:36 PM	#13
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	That is so beautiful, Dani. It made me think of my own dad.

03-18-2009, 01:15 PM	#14
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	LOVE IT. Reads a lot like the eulogy I gave for my dad a couple of years ago. Think they're ready for a refill on that tea now. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

03-18-2009, 03:00 PM	#15
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	smiles I read it at the funeral. In the end we didn't do the funeral paper thingies. I just read it, which was nice, because people hadnt already skim read it ahead of me. It went down well. Peope liked it and thought it spoke of dad. To side-step the whole personal tragedy element of this and be totally vain for a moment: I was really pleased with how it read. I was also pleased with how I read it. It's a piece to be read aloud.

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