May 11, 2009: Limbless Masseur/Masseuse

xoxoxoBruce · 05-10-2009, 11:24 PM

Limbless? Then they must use their bodies, right? That's right.

Quote:

A masseuse in Israel who has discovered that some people will pay top dollar ($80) to have snakes slither across their backs and faces. Turns out that king snakes and corn snakes deliver a nice kneading sensation when they get their slither on.

Quote:

Ada Barak figured out several years ago that heavy king and corn snakes produce a relaxing kneading sensation. For years, she's been entertaining guests at her farm where she cultivates rodent-eating carnivorous plants. Strangely, she found a sideline that's even more bizarre.

I suppose this would cut down the undercover cops snooping around.

link Via

zippyt · 05-11-2009, 12:11 AM

I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!!

SteveDallas · 05-11-2009, 12:29 AM

I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

SPUCK · 05-11-2009, 05:08 AM

Discussion overheard at a snake parlor:

"OK, all the snakes are on.."
"All the snakes?"
"Well, yeah, you said all those snakes."
"YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!"
.
.
"Ah lady please lie very still"
"OW! I just got bit.."

________________________
Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 05:09 AM

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

The Teapot · 05-11-2009, 06:51 AM

Profesionalism mainly.

DanaC · 05-11-2009, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Teapot

Profesionalism mainly.

lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.

Brianna · 05-11-2009, 08:08 AM

Um.

No.

ZenGum · 05-11-2009, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

Well, that's why they smear the ratburger on the patient's body. It's either that or pheromones, take your pick.

capnhowdy · 05-11-2009, 08:24 AM

I, too, will pass.

morethanpretty · 05-11-2009, 10:11 AM

I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks...

jinx · 05-11-2009, 10:29 AM

Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor?

eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad.

Shawnee123 · 05-11-2009, 10:34 AM

Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 12:12 PM

I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory.

glatt · 05-11-2009, 12:16 PM

When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

05-11-2009, 12:11 AM	#2
zippyt is driving through the night Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: paragould arkansas Posts: 4,830	I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

05-11-2009, 05:09 AM	#5
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 1,301	What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger? __________________ Keep your corvines in the corbels.

05-11-2009, 08:24 AM	#10
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 5,415	I, too, will pass. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

05-11-2009, 10:11 AM	#11
morethanpretty stabs people with forks Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 1,427	I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks... __________________ "I have a cocaine problem, I'm out of cocaine." -Jon Stewart Humans are animals. What separates them from the other species? Delusions of grandeur. -Sundae Republicans: working for government small enough to fit inside your bedroom.

05-11-2009, 10:29 AM	#12
jinx Matt Lauer can suck it Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 5,100	Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor? eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad. __________________ A thing either is what it appears to be; or it is not, but yet appears to be; or it is, but does not appear to be; or it is not, and does not appear to be.--Epictitus

05-11-2009, 12:29 AM	#3
SteveDallas still likes Winona Ryder Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,166	I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

05-11-2009, 05:08 AM	#4
SPUCK Lecturer Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 761	Discussion overheard at a snake parlor: "OK, all the snakes are on.." "All the snakes?" "Well, yeah, you said all those snakes." "YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!" . . "Ah lady please lie very still" "OW! I just got bit.." ________________________ Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

05-11-2009, 06:51 AM	#6
The Teapot May Ter Dee Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The retirement home Posts: 26	Profesionalism mainly.

05-11-2009, 08:08 AM	#8
Brianna Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 10,173	Um. No.

05-11-2009, 10:34 AM	#13
Shawnee123 aaaaachoooo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: OH Posts: 15,923	Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner. It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it. __________________ The art of art, the glory of expression and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. Walt Whitman US poet (1819 - 1892)

05-11-2009, 12:12 PM	#14
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 1,301	I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory. __________________ Keep your corvines in the corbels.

05-11-2009, 12:16 PM	#15
glatt accepts the challenge Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 10,050	When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

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