May 11, 2009: Limbless Masseur/Masseuse

xoxoxoBruce · 05-10-2009, 10:24 PM

Limbless? Then they must use their bodies, right? That's right.

Quote:

A masseuse in Israel who has discovered that some people will pay top dollar ($80) to have snakes slither across their backs and faces. Turns out that king snakes and corn snakes deliver a nice kneading sensation when they get their slither on.

Quote:

Ada Barak figured out several years ago that heavy king and corn snakes produce a relaxing kneading sensation. For years, she's been entertaining guests at her farm where she cultivates rodent-eating carnivorous plants. Strangely, she found a sideline that's even more bizarre.

I suppose this would cut down the undercover cops snooping around.

link Via

zippyt · 05-10-2009, 11:11 PM

I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!!

SteveDallas · 05-10-2009, 11:29 PM

I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

SPUCK · 05-11-2009, 04:08 AM

Discussion overheard at a snake parlor:

"OK, all the snakes are on.."
"All the snakes?"
"Well, yeah, you said all those snakes."
"YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!"
.
.
"Ah lady please lie very still"
"OW! I just got bit.."

________________________
Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 04:09 AM

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

The Teapot · 05-11-2009, 05:51 AM

Profesionalism mainly.

DanaC · 05-11-2009, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Teapot

Profesionalism mainly.

lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.

Brianna · 05-11-2009, 07:08 AM

Um.

No.

ZenGum · 05-11-2009, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

Well, that's why they smear the ratburger on the patient's body. It's either that or pheromones, take your pick.

capnhowdy · 05-11-2009, 07:24 AM

I, too, will pass.

morethanpretty · 05-11-2009, 09:11 AM

I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks...

jinx · 05-11-2009, 09:29 AM

Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor?

eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad.

Shawnee123 · 05-11-2009, 09:34 AM

Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 11:12 AM

I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory.

glatt · 05-11-2009, 11:16 AM

When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

05-10-2009, 11:11 PM	#2
zippyt still under warranty Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: paragould arkansas Posts: 5,284	I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

05-11-2009, 04:09 AM	#5
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 1,854	What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger? __________________ Mag ingot ng ilong mo!

05-11-2009, 07:08 AM	#8
Brianna Double Complete Rainbow Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 11,369	Um. No. __________________ "I dust a bit...I am at this moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip." — John Kennedy Toole (A Confederacy of Dunces)

05-11-2009, 07:24 AM	#10
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,077	I, too, will pass. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

05-11-2009, 09:11 AM	#11
morethanpretty stabs people with forks Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 1,732	I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks... __________________ "If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay." -Steven Colbert Humans are animals. What separates them from the other species? Delusions of grandeur. -Sundae Republicans: working for government small enough to fit inside your bedroom.

05-10-2009, 11:29 PM	#3
SteveDallas still likes Winona Ryder Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,366	I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

05-11-2009, 04:08 AM	#4
SPUCK Professor Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,015	Discussion overheard at a snake parlor: "OK, all the snakes are on.." "All the snakes?" "Well, yeah, you said all those snakes." "YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!" . . "Ah lady please lie very still" "OW! I just got bit.." ________________________ Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

05-11-2009, 05:51 AM	#6
The Teapot May Ter Dee Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The retirement home Posts: 26	Profesionalism mainly.

05-11-2009, 09:29 AM	#12
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 6,907	Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor? eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

05-11-2009, 09:34 AM	#13
Shawnee123 Master Thespian Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 19,227	Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner. It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it. __________________ Shawnee comes up with the correct answer almost every time. --The Great and Powerful spudcon the proper course of action is to quote spudcon in your signature line. So we are reminded of your awesomeness every time you post. Not to say that we aren't already. --The Great and Powerful glatt

05-11-2009, 11:12 AM	#14
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 1,854	I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory. __________________ Mag ingot ng ilong mo!

05-11-2009, 11:16 AM	#15
glatt waiting like a stalking Butler Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 11,820	When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

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