Haiku!

SamIam · 10-20-2010, 02:16 PM

Since I couldn't sleep last night, I decided to write some Haiku - seemed as productive as anything else at 3am. Now the sun has come up and I get to inflict them on the Cellar. HAH!

Note: a Haiku is a 17 syllable poem 4 lines long, and usually has some reference to nature or time of year.

Four Late Autunn Haiku

The crickets are still,
Silent in the earth,
Waiting.
Winter catches my hair.

Leaves hang, considering
Let go?
Or seize this last day?
An old woman watches.

No moths to the flame.
Hard frost.
I had my chance once,
But my wings were short.

Silence of the sky,
Shattered with stars.
Summer
Covers her green mouth.

Trilby · 10-20-2010, 07:24 PM

like!

monster · 10-20-2010, 08:03 PM

I'm interested by your four line format. I thought that Haikus were in a 5 7 5 format, but your 4 line idea allows you other variations on this theme, as the two "orphan" syllables can attach to any of the three 5s, allowing 7 5 5 and 5 5 7 as well as variations on the (5 5 5 2) theme. Or am I just reading them incorrectly?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

interesting that this definition also mentions a "cutting word" -I hadn't learned that before.

here are some more haiku threads:

http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=22900
http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=15718
http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=16098

HungLikeJesus · 10-20-2010, 10:27 PM

Behind each Haiku
there is a killing. A mist
of blood in the air.

SamIam · 10-20-2010, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

like!

Thank you, Brianna! Its always nice to get a stamp of approval from a professional!

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

I'm interested by your four line format. I thought that Haikus were in a 5 7 5 format, but your 4 line idea allows you other variations on this theme, as the two "orphan" syllables can attach to any of the three 5s, allowing 7 5 5 and 5 5 7 as well as variations on the (5 5 5 2) theme. Or am I just reading them incorrectly?

You are reading them correctly. I have been reading The Essential Haiku by Robert Hass, and following the examples he gives.

The poet Basho wrote in syntax of 5-4-3-5 or else 5-3-4-5. About 30 years after Basho's death, the poet Buson introduced the 5-5-2-5 or the 5-2-5-5 styles which are pretty cool. The 3 line haiku is the most traditional. The ones I have posted here were influenced by the rengu form of Japanese poetry.

Here's a three liner by Basho that I like:

Don't worry spiders,
I keep house
casually.

(I guess a syllable was lost in translation - still nice though)

monster · 10-20-2010, 10:42 PM

acCELLARation
Increasing velocity
of defecation

monster · 10-20-2010, 10:43 PM

...argh! that wasn't a direct commeny/reply to you, Sam! we just posted at similar times!

monster · 10-20-2010, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam

You are reading them correctly. I have been reading The Essential Haiku by Robert Hass, and following the examples he gives.

The poet Basho wrote in syntax of 5-4-3-5 or else 5-3-4-5. About 30 years after Basho's death, the poet Buson introduced the 5-5-2-5 or the 5-2-5-5 styles which are pretty cool.

thanks, this is all new to me, I like it.

Shawnee123 · 10-21-2010, 07:01 AM

There was once a brown fluffy dog who had a green ear
He jumped and played a lot in the yard and stuff, and would eat discarded foodstuffs
He was cute.

(This is the "new haiku" from the Shaw translation of the Great Ignobligage.)

Trilby · 10-21-2010, 08:29 AM

this is getting more and more interesting...

Shawnee123 · 10-21-2010, 08:34 AM

This is a style of haiku I have named "The Brianna." It's a variant on Bosco and Bunco's variations. It consists of however many syllables, followed by a line of however many syllables, and the last line has to be one word: a common noun.

Beautiful
Wonderful
Girl

SamIam · 10-21-2010, 12:51 PM

LOL @ Shawnee

Trilby · 10-21-2010, 02:03 PM

Made
My
Day!

monster · 10-21-2010, 03:24 PM

did she just call you a common noun?

10-20-2010, 02:16 PM	#1
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Haiku! Since I couldn't sleep last night, I decided to write some Haiku - seemed as productive as anything else at 3am. Now the sun has come up and I get to inflict them on the Cellar. HAH! Note: a Haiku is a 17 syllable poem 4 lines long, and usually has some reference to nature or time of year. Four Late Autunn Haiku The crickets are still, Silent in the earth, Waiting. Winter catches my hair. Leaves hang, considering Let go? Or seize this last day? An old woman watches. No moths to the flame. Hard frost. I had my chance once, But my wings were short. Silence of the sky, Shattered with stars. Summer Covers her green mouth.

10-20-2010, 07:24 PM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	like! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-20-2010, 08:03 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I'm interested by your four line format. I thought that Haikus were in a 5 7 5 format, but your 4 line idea allows you other variations on this theme, as the two "orphan" syllables can attach to any of the three 5s, allowing 7 5 5 and 5 5 7 as well as variations on the (5 5 5 2) theme. Or am I just reading them incorrectly? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku interesting that this definition also mentions a "cutting word" -I hadn't learned that before. here are some more haiku threads: http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=22900 http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=15718 http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=16098 __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-20-2010, 10:27 PM	#4
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Behind each Haiku there is a killing. A mist of blood in the air. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-20-2010, 10:42 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	acCELLARation Increasing velocity of defecation __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-20-2010, 10:43 PM	#7
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	...argh! that wasn't a direct commeny/reply to you, Sam! we just posted at similar times! __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-21-2010, 07:01 AM	#9
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	There was once a brown fluffy dog who had a green ear He jumped and played a lot in the yard and stuff, and would eat discarded foodstuffs He was cute. (This is the "new haiku" from the Shaw translation of the Great Ignobligage.) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-21-2010, 08:29 AM	#10
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	this is getting more and more interesting... __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-21-2010, 08:34 AM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	This is a style of haiku I have named "The Brianna." It's a variant on Bosco and Bunco's variations. It consists of however many syllables, followed by a line of however many syllables, and the last line has to be one word: a common noun. Beautiful Wonderful Girl __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-21-2010, 12:51 PM	#12
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	LOL @ Shawnee

10-21-2010, 02:03 PM	#13
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Made My Day! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-21-2010, 03:24 PM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	did she just call you a common noun? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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