The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Entertainment

Entertainment Music, film, TV, games, theatre, the arts, leisure

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-15-2002, 09:19 AM   #1
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Tasteless Jokes

One long joke per post, or multiple short ones...

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 10:33 AM   #2
That Guy
He who reads, sometimes writes.
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
Unfortunately, all (or at least a majority) of the tasteless jokes are extremely offensive.
That Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 11:04 AM   #3
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
People don't need to read 'em if they don't want to be offended.

Post away.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 02:55 PM   #4
That Guy
He who reads, sometimes writes.
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

What did the black kid get for Christmas?

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
That Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 04:59 PM   #5
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
2nd one - YOUR BIKE!

  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 07:19 PM   #6
Kutz
Killer of Wabbits
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: USA! USA! USA!
Posts: 18
If you see a black man riding south on a bike, take the bike. It's probably yours.

If you see a black man riding north on a bike, take the black man. He's probably yours.

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your television set floating in mid air?

Say, "drop it, negro."

I'm not racist, but I sure hear my fair share of racist jokes.
__________________
http://www.psychicman.net
Kutz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 07:34 PM   #7
Tobiasly
hot
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
How does every racist joke begin/end?

"I'm not racist, but..."
Tobiasly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 07:35 PM   #8
Tobiasly
hot
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
Q: How do you keep a dog from humping your leg?

A: Suck its dick.
Tobiasly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 08:56 PM   #9
sycamore
Ain't nobody got time for that!
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 11,841
Q: How do you stop a gang rape?
A: Throw in a basketball.

Q: How do you start a Jewish parade?
A: Roll a penny down the street.

Q: How do you confuse a Polock?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in a corner.
__________________
Remember to be drinkable because your choice is fish.

blog | Twitter
sycamore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 11:05 PM   #10
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Q: How can you tell if your roommate's gay?

A: His dick tastes like shit.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2002, 11:24 PM   #11
sycamore
Ain't nobody got time for that!
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 11,841
Another take on Kutz's joke:

Q: What do you do when you see a bike riding itself?
A: Yell "Smile, nigger!"

Q: What's red and has seven dents in it?
A: Snow White's cherry

Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the Frog's finger
__________________
Remember to be drinkable because your choice is fish.

blog | Twitter
sycamore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2002, 07:28 AM   #12
That Guy
He who reads, sometimes writes.
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
Quote:
Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

What did the black kid get for Christmas?

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

My bike.

Leukemia.
That Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2002, 09:18 AM   #13
dave
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver?

'cause she was a WOMAN!

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was bad?

They re-arranged her bedroom.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2002, 09:23 AM   #14
Undertoad
Contractable
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: The Loveshack
Posts: 25,245
How do you fit four gay guys on one bar stool?

Turn it over.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2002, 09:44 AM   #15
That Guy
He who reads, sometimes writes.
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
What's the most common pick-up line in a gay bar?
That Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:24 PM.

Help fill the mug... click to donate
Alien: "We get over a million channels." Bart: "Do you have HBO?" Alien: "No, that costs extra."
- The Simpsons: About the alien TV in Treehouse of Horror

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.