This is just SO wrong!

[SamIam]

OK, first a little background -

I fondly call my landlord the Slumlord. He owns several properties here in town and is lazy as well as a skinflint. Theoretically, in the summer, we are not even supposed to water the lawn because he doesn't want to pay the water bill. So, the yard in front of the fourplex I live in looks like hell - all burnt up and over grown with weeds. Finally, last summer, the city made him at least cut the weeds down and I started to water my portion of the lawn on the sly, so things got a little better - no thanks to Slumlord.

Slumlord also refuses to repair or replace window or door screens. All the screens have holes in them and let in every fly in the county. But Slumlord doesn't "do screens." He treats his other properties in town just as bad as he treats this one.

I guess he doesn't care because he doesn't live here - he and Mrs. Slumlord have a posh place in upscale Durango. Mrs. Slumlord is a lawyer and has her practice in Durango, also. So what I'm getting at is that Mr. and Mrs. Slumlord are doing quite well for themselves.

Well, last week my furnace decided to die. It made a bunch of weird, loud, clicking sounds and gave up the ghost. I called up the Slumlords and left a message that the furnace was no longer of this world and that I was getting pretty cold. This was over the weekend, and I didn't hear anything back from them until Monday (I wore lots of sweaters, meanwhile).

Monday morning, Mrs Slumlord calls me up all chirpy and tells me that she talked with a friend who works for an outfit funded by the state that helps low income people (ie me) who have heating emergencies during the winter months. In fact Mrs. Slumlord's office is in the very same building as the state outfit, and her friend had given her the application forms to give me to fill out to apply for emergency help as a low income, disabled person.

Mrs. Slumlord generously added that while we were waiting for the state to come through with a new furnace, Mr. Slumlord would drop off a couple of those oil filled heating thingies that run off electricity. (Electric bills here are listed in krugerrands, btw).

What? WAIT! I do not own this place. It is Mr. Slumlord's obligation to provide a functional furnace - not mine. When I leave here (which can't be soon enough), the furnace is not going with me. It will be Mr. Slumlord's property.

So, how can he take advantage of the fact that just because he has a low income tenant he can tap into this special state fund that is supposed to be for people in need, not fat cats?

I'd like to call up the state agency and demand to know just what is going on, but then again, I really don't want to be stuck paying the extravagant electric bills those oil heaters are wracking up even as I type this. But I am mad. REALLY mad!