Stress

[hot_pastrami]

I am under a lot of stress these days. But it is uncharacteristic of me to complain about anything, so I usually just end up acting as though I'm not completely out of my mind, covering it up like a quilt thrown over a soiled sofa.

I'm in the process of buying one house and selling another at the same time. I'm making improvements to the house I'm selling to get it sold faster, and the new place has a to-do list which is pretty formidable. I'm signing a lot of papers and spending a lot of money, and cramming critical errands into every spare moment I can find. I know I have a huge moving project ahead of me, but cannot afford many days off work to do it in.

I'm trying to decide how to ask the girl that I love to marry me (she knows that I'm going to ask in the near future, but nonetheless I want it to be romantic, and a surprise if possible). I'm trying to figure out how to tell my devout LDS mother that I'll be moving in with my girlfriend before we're married, which from her Mormon perspective will be my one-way ticket to fiery Hell.

At work I have sole responsibility over several projects with approaching deadlines, and insufficient time. On top of that, soon my job will be changing, the department I've worked in for years is being dissolved, and I'l be moved to a new department where I know nobody, and I must once again prove my worth. That's assuming they don't just decide to lay me off.

Ok, I'm done. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just had to get that out of my system. Carry on, nothing to see here.

[Griff]

I like to stuff it down deep inside and maybe watch it leak out as excema, alcohol abuse, or by pounding my head on the steering wheel sitting at a green light. But thats just me ya gotta go your own way.

[Griff]

You could also start an argument with tw. I used to try that but he's a faster typist than me.

[warch]

For me its my left eye. The lid muscles spasm randomly, with great velocity. Just the left eye.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I suggest you give your true love a big box tied up with pretty ribon and a bow. Fill the box with cleaning and decorating stuff. if she thinks it's cool you've got a partner. Your mom and job you're on your own. Hell I can't solve ALL your problems. But, I do wish you luck. As hectic as it gets, at least you've got a life.

[wolf]

Originally posted by warch
For me its my left eye. The lid muscles spasm randomly, with great velocity. Just the left eye.

You mean like Herbert Lom in the Pink Panther movies?

My boss at the nuthouse used to do that.

Then one day, he just stopped showing up.

We still don't know what happened.

This is what I have to look forward to.

[wolf]

Well, HP, it seems that you have one advantage over most of the poor overstressed bastards out there ... you recognize that you have a lot on your plate, and that each situation is a separate one ... your situation is not one really big sucking event. Keep this in mind. The dust will settle, and most of this stuff will resolve.

Throughout, however, don't forget to make use of what we in the psych biz like to call your "support network" (family, friends, coworkers, etc.) and don't hesitate to expand that to include others, such as your company EAP, therapist, pastor, etc.

Make sure you remember to do stuff for yourself, sometimes little things, like keeping up with your exercise routine, or taking a break to listen to some favorite music can make a world of difference in your ability to tolerate stress. Other things to keep in mind is watch for changes in your regular patterns ... like if you find yourself hitting the caffiene extra hard, gorging on chocolate or pizza to the point you are gaining weight, or chainsmoking ... you're probably not coping well. Back off, but don't use this as the time to quit something that's a regular part of your life. Also, pay attention to your sleep and appetite patterns, because they will be early indicators of problems.

Untreated stress can turn into a lot of different things ... physical as well as psychiatric illnesses.

Originally posted by warch
For me its my left eye. The lid muscles spasm randomly, with great velocity. Just the left eye.

Me too! It doesn't hurt, just feels kinda funny. And it's annoying, 'cause I think, "Can other people see this?"

[That Guy]

Originally posted by hot_pastrami
I'm trying to figure out how to tell my devout LDS mother that I'll be moving in with my girlfriend ...

Is that a Learning Disabled Stepmother, or did you mean to type LSD? If the latter is the case, she's probably cool with anything you do, as long as you leave the lava-lamp on.

As for the proposal, charm her with creativity. Try putting on a vaginal puppet show. "With your host, Dick Richard!"

[Elspode]

I can help with your mom's point of view, HP. Just mention to her that her religion is basically Mormon Light, and that Joseph Smith probably made up the whole angels and gold tablets story so that he could eventually end up married to as many babes as he wanted. Then tell her you're only planning on living with, and eventually marrying *one*, so you are therefore a far more moral person than was Joseph Smith, who clearly founded an entire religion just so he could get laid more.

She'll love it!

(This should add a few more percentage points to my attempts to offend as many people as possible since the Jesus and Easter Eggs thing only covered 33% or so)

[warch]

It doesn't hurt, just feels kinda funny.

Yep.Mine's just a quick subtle twitch that drives me nuts.And I find that I pinch my eye shut or press my hand on it. Thats what is generally noticed and curious to others and interpreted in many undesirable ways.

My stress level can usually be gauged by the level of clutter, mess, and piles in my living/working spaces. It starts to reflect my mental chaos. I make myself clean up, take the time to focus on that, the physical environs I can control, and that can help the mental order.

Now the whole move thing, facing our smoked, cured-meat friend, while all the rest is going down- that is a big challenge. Good luck as it all unfolds. Mom will get over it, tune her out until she does.

[hot_pastrami]

You know, my left eyelid does that twitching thing sometimes... I've asked people, and it's not noticablly twitching, but I can feel it all the same. Damned annoying.

I usually deal with stress pretty well, but part of the problem this time is that my girlfriend either A) doesn't appreciate the stress altitude I am cruising at, or B) is stressed out herself and dealing with it poorly. She's been starting little mock-arguments or criticisms on the most unimportant subjects, and doesn't let off until I get noticably irritated... It's like she's pushing me to see how far I'll go before I snap. It is not typical for her to be insensitive, and I don't know for certain what the cause is. All I do know is that when I bring the subject of this behavior, making an effort to be unaccusing, she gets very defensive and upset.

I appreciate that things are stressful for her too right now, but I think it's fair to say I'm under a lot more pressure than she... her parents are cool with the whole situation, she's getting into a house she really likes, and it was her idea to do something like this in the first place. Moreover, I'm dealing with nearly all of the house stuff myself... making repairs/improvements to my old house, selling it, and buying our new one. So her main points of stress are the change of situation, and the actual move. But I know life's not a see-who's-more-stressed-out contest.

I love her immensely though, and I know it will all work out well. We've been together awhile now and through some more complicated stuff, and in the end the relationship is stronger because of it.

Anyway, I'm just letting off steam again. It seems that the Cellar is part of my support network! Group hug!

Yeah.... *cough*. I'm done. For now.

Hope it all works out for you. I've definitely been there, and I've chronicled a lot of it right here. As my namesake used to say, "This day, too, shall pass."

[warch]

Well someone's got to keep it together...and it can't be me!
After 13+ years together this is the humorous stress battle cry used by my spouse and I, we try to tag team on the support vs. freak time, try to keep a sense of humor about it, defuse. You're right. Its not a stress-off competition and the size and weight of all of it is constantly shifting for all parties. (Just because her parents are cool with it, I'd bet the potential for mother-in-law trouble is a heavier weight on her- being the evil cause and all.)

A great stress passed in our household yesterday with the final reception of a renewed green card for hubby- It was mysteriously overdue, we were just about to lawyer-up - but there it was in the mail.So they arent kicking him/us out afterall.(The new card is all high tech with all sorts of holograms, codes, readable stuff on it. He's sposed to keep it in a special envelope. It probably can relay a tracking signal from his wallet.)

[xoxoxoBruce]

She's been starting little mock-arguments or criticisms on the most unimportant subjects, and doesn't let off until I get noticably irritated... It's like she's pushing me to see how far I'll go before I snap. It is not typical for her to be insensitive, and I don't know for certain what the cause is.

Maybe when you get stressed you tend to, in her eyes, neglect her. If this happens repeatedly, she probably feels it's the only way to get attention. That said ( here comes the disclaimer) since I really don't know either of you, I may be full of shit. But, I seen it happen before. Good luck, man.