7/13: Cam girl suicide attempt

[Undertoad]

[IMG]pictures/deadstacy.jpg[/IMG]

After breaking up with a guy, web cam operator Stacy decided to kill herself and show the world that she was doing it. She took her web cam into the bathroom, and...

Had a whole bunch of chatters trying to call 911.

She didn't really take enough pills to die, I think, and here is a followup message:

<i>Everyone,

Hi, this is Glenn, Stacy's "bug." I wanted to let everyone know that S is OK. She is at Long Island College Hospital and, I hear, is currently sleeping.

I have not been over there yet and don't know when I will be able to go.

If you wish to contact me you may do so at burningclown@burningclown.com. I will try to answer emails/questions and so forth.

Thanks for being Stacy's friends. If anyone can tell me how to delete the troll comment, I would appreciate it. It looks as though it may have been deleted already, but I have no idea how, or whether I'm just seeing things.</i>

Note, I don't follow web cams... I found this on one of the many weblogs I peruse. And that log didn't point to the cam; it pointed to a page that had saved the shot, and contained a long rant against Stacy.

Which brings me to my next point, and that is that my generation, Gen X, 13ers, whatever, is sometimes just BROKEN. We have a coldness running through our veins, a sarcastic nihilism. Yeah, the web cam girls are probably pretty screwed up - desperately crying for attention. The image above is probably as much that as anything else. But we are all screwed up, in a lot of ways.

[vsp]

Trying to commit suicide is an even clearer depiction of "desperately crying for attention". Particularly in a forum where she _knew_ the world would be watching and would be likely to call 911/do something else to save her.

You could probably write a book (and someone likely has) on the webcam-exhibitionist mindset, with and without the bedroom/porno aspects of it. Playing amateur Freud-for-a-day without doing my homework about her, I'd say Stacy's webcam wasn't a porn-cam, but likely a here-I-am-world-so-talk-to-me chat-cam. Whether or not she flashed the cameras at intervals (or at all) is left as an exercise for the reader. "Please validate my existence and treat me like someone important by talking to me just because you can see my picture."

Is that bad? Depends. Depends on her reaction when she finds that very few come a-callin', or when the ratings go down (so to speak). Depends on when the camera changes from a slice-of-life voyeur thing to outright performance art (a deliberate on-cam suicide attempt being the ultimate drama-queen performance). There are plenty of cammers who do have their heads on straight, just like there are plenty of people without webcams who are seriously screwed up.

I don't know whether this generation is that much darker and cynical than the previous ones. But I do know that the Internet dramatically enhances the audience for that cynicism, and lets people voice it semi-anonymously instead of sulking in silence in the real world. Again, is that bad? ...Depends.

[vsp]

Tony wrote:

>Note, I don't follow web cams... I found this on one of the many weblogs I peruse. And that log didn't point to the cam; it pointed to a page that had saved the shot, and contained a long rant against Stacy.

I visited www.cruel.com (Cruel Site of the Day) today, and whaddya know, the screen-capture-and-rant-against-Stacy page was today's selection.

The rant is indeed harsh, but largely accurate in and of itself.

The most telling bit, however, is not in the rant but on the cruel.com description of it. It provides a link to the LAST TIME she tried this.

Yes, that's right, she tried to off herself with pills (AND posted this little gem to her webcam message board: "oh my god...this is so wild...i can't believe i'm actually doing it! it's so scary but it's so easy too...and so pretty! all these little shapes!") in June of 2000, too.

What is this, Webcam Sweeps Week every summer?

This is sad, folks. There are two types of suicidal people -- those who go out and do it (and usually succeed, because they don't leave 173 clues as to how they'll do it and when and where), and those who tease those around them with endless threats and pleadings. Ever seen a little kid threaten to "be bad" if he doesn't get something he wants? This is the slightly-more-adult version of the same principle; give me what I want (love, attention, pampering, importance) or I'll do something you won't like.

I had a sort-of-ex-gf once who pulled stunts like that (the relationship never really even got started, but try and tell her that). She'd call just to let me know that she was all alone, sitting on her bed, juggling some knives around -- oops!, or she'd have that execrable Kix ballad about suicide playing loud in the background. This is not rational behavior -- these are emotional children. Emotional SMALL children.

So you have to treat these people like small children. They need help -- that is undeniable -- but they don't need reinforcement. A fan club full of sycophants ready to dial 911 at a moment's notice, burbling "We love you! Please don't leave us!" guarantees a repeat performance, because she got the reaction she wanted -- sympathy for whatever neuroses are guiding her. Hey, it's worked twice now!

Like a small child holding matches, you have to do two things: remove the immediate danger, then make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable. The first part (in grownup-land) includes a lot of therapy, and lord knows what else, but suffice it to say that after two stunts like this she needs some constant supervision. The second... well, it's time to take the webcam away and put it on top of the fridge until she's ready to grow up.

I'd quote Frank Zappa's "Suicide Chump" here but it would be superfluous.

jeff. the new millenium's version of standing on a window ledge, I suppose...

[jaguar]

As i said to the other one, sad, sad, sad.

[tw]

I too have used the wrong thing for a pillow. But she probably woke up with a worse headache.

[jaguar]

Lol tw, reminds me of this.

The 36-year-old Hollywood screen actress Lupe Velez, the "Mexican Spitfire", attempted to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills in 1934. Ms Velez underestimated the dosage, however, and suddenly felt violently ill. As she made a dash for the bathroom she slipped on the tiled floor and was flung head first into her toilet. Her maid found her the next day with her head jammed down the bowl, drowned.

I doubt she'd have a headache, form my own experince with ODing on painkillers (long story involving a party, a headache, a bottle of vodka and a freind with a pack of neurofen, and no dosage instrucitons) shes more liekly not to be able to feel her feet (i fell down WOODEN stairs and didn't feel it)

[richlevy]

Originally posted by jaguar
Lol tw, reminds me of this.

The 36-year-old Hollywood screen actress Lupe Velez, the "Mexican Spitfire", attempted to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills in 1934. Ms Velez underestimated the dosage, however, and suddenly felt violently ill. As she made a dash for the bathroom she slipped on the tiled floor and was flung head first into her toilet. Her maid found her the next day with her head jammed down the bowl, drowned.

Ok, I have to ask. Where did you hear this story?

[jaguar]

Darwin Awards. I love them.
My other favorite (not sure where i found this one)

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

[tw]

Originally posted by jaguar
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

Caviar!

[wolf]

Basically, gang, this is what I do for a living ... talk people out of killing themselves, and assisting families who can't talk their loved one out of it to file commitment papers (on which I have the power to sign a warrant to have the person brought before a psychiatrist against their will)

Anyway ...

Whether or not it's just for attention, all suicide attempts are serious. A lot of the attention-seeking folks manage to have sufficiently dense friends who don't get the warning messages ... a few pills too many, or a little too long before the call for help ... dead client.

Now, I'm not saying that the webcam chick is anything other than a stupid borderline (which she clearly is) ... but that doesn't make her attempt any less serious.

One thing, however, I really hate are these people that make their suicide threats online ... I had to deal with a situation in an AOL chat room ... had people calling from all over the country for someone who they _thought_ was in Pennsylvania, and the only other information they had was an AOL screen name ... I'm just surprised it doesn't happen more often.

[tw]

Originally posted by wolf
Basically, gang, this is what I do for a living ... talk people out of killing themselves, and assisting families who can't talk their loved one out of it to file commitment papers (on which I have the power to sign a warrant to have the person brought before a psychiatrist against their will)

Anyway ...

Whether or not it's just for attention, all suicide attempts are serious.

That summarizes the category that go to great lengths to advertise before the act. There must be suicide among the 'no nonsense' types who get it done and be done with it. How do these types differ from the advertised suicidal attempts. How is the mindset different?

[wolf]

Originally posted by tw


That summarizes the category that go to great lengths to advertise before the act. There must be suicide among the 'no nonsense' types who get it done and be done with it. How do these types differ from the advertised suicidal attempts. How is the mindset different?

Allowing for individual differences, most suicidal people have some degree of ambivalence about the act ... which is why suicide hotlines exist and work ... however, once someone REALLY makes the decision there is often nothing that will stop them, particularly if that person chooses lethal means for the attempt ... firearm, hanging, etc. OD and CO poisoning generally allow a window of opportunity for the person to be found ... but doesn't always work out. One thing that you will notice in people who are VERY serious about their intent, is that once they have made the decision to kill themselves they actually become "happier"... it's not unusual for friends/family to say things like "I can't believe s/he committed suicide... s/he was doing so well ... everything seemed fine..." But then the concerned others may also notice that the person started doing things to "clean up" their lives ... see to the disposition of property, pets, etc. I know someone who recently completed suicide and the only "warning" anyone got was that she gave her dog away. Otherwise, everyone thought she was doing great.

Now, on the other hand, about those "doing it for attention" people ... One of my suicide prevention trainers tells this story...

There was this woman who would make "cry for attention" OD attempts. She was very experienced at setting the scene, writing the note, taking the pills, and then waiting for her husband to show up home from work (he was a state trooper out west somewhere). One night she got all ready, took her OD laid down on the couch to await his arrival and rescue at 6:00 ... He arrived home at 6:00 AM, rather than PM (he got mandated for a second shift) and found her dead the next day ...

Yeah, there are a lot of attention seeking attempts, I've seen a lot of wrist slittings that don't even rise to the level of minor self mutilation, "OD's" that consist of 5-10 pills ... but also people don't sometimes understand the lethality of some meds ... Tylenol, for example. A Tylenol OD probably won't kill you today ... but without the proper treatment you WILL be on liver transplant list in the next year or two ...