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#1 |
Breathing into a paper bag
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 334
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Baby Advice for Juju
Okay, guys. Every time I talk to Juju I give him baby advice, and he says I'm not alone. Ju says that it would be nice to have all the advice in one place, and I can't think of a better place than this. So let him have it!
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Taking up smoking to lose weight. |
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#2 |
Breathing into a paper bag
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 334
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1. Get gas drops. They saved my life.
2. Use Pampers...don't use the cheesy diapers till the baby gets older. And NEVER use the cheesy diapers overnight.
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Taking up smoking to lose weight. |
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#3 |
no one of consequence
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,839
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Do they break and spill shit everywhere?
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#4 | |
Breathing into a paper bag
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 334
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Quote:
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Taking up smoking to lose weight. |
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#5 |
Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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hmmmm....
Jeez.. this is pathetic. I've got two kids, now 8 and 4, and I can't come up with any good advice on the nitty-gritty. So I guess I'll give meta-advice. Educate yourself, and then follow your best judgement. Don't let other people (especially relatives) push their advice on you or make you feel guilty because you're not doing it "the right way" (aka the way they did it). Your most valuable tools as a parent will be patience and perspective. Try not to freak out over every little thing. Sleep when you can. Don't try to outsmart the kid's schedule ("I might as well stay up another hour, she usually wakes up hungry about that time"). And finally a word of advice from my mom: "When you go out somewhere and you see some kid acting up or doing something stupid... do not EVER say, 'well, MY kid will never do that.'" |
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#6 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
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My advice is for older children:
Pick your battles. Not every thing is worth the fight. Allow your child to express themselves they way they want to. Be strict but fair. Most important: Be consistant, and don't make threats you can't or won't back up.
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Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt |
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#7 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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At 6 months, start whispering in her ear as she sleeps, "elope, elope, elope". It'll save you a fortune down the road.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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#8 |
Resident President
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Very, very, rural Mississippi
Posts: 83
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Baby advice:
1: No MTV ever, especially if its a girl. No Brittney Speers, no Madonna, no Christina Agulara. Unless of course you are planning on raising a hootchie mama. 2: Read to the kid. Start as soon as it comes home from the hospital and keep it up. 3: Get a copy of the Constitution and Bill of Rights and make the kid read them. 4: Manners. No one likes a rude kid. Sir and Ma'am should be mandentory. 5: Keep them out of The Gap and Old Navy stores. The Gap and Old Navy are what is wrong with America. Wal-Mart isn't much better. 6: Military school is always an option. Maggie M....
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Why kill them when you can make them live and suffer? |
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#9 | |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Quote:
Sage wolf advice on childraising: Get as much practice as you can with other people's children. Unless you drop them on their heads, they are difficult to damage permanently. Minor corruption is expected and encouraged. But remember ... those adults you offend today, are the ones likely to give your children loud toys as presents for years to come. Always put an extra shirt for YOU (and mommy) in the diaper bag. Those things are huge for a reason. No matter how big the puke bib is (polite people call this the "burping cloth") the kid WILL miss it. Probability of getting the entire puke load down your back increases with the value, sentimental or actual cash, of the shirt you are wearing. The earlier you teach your children about television and videogames, the earlier they will bogart the remote control/game controller when YOU want to play. Too much television is bad for children. Tell them this. Limit their time on the tube so that you can still finish the newest Tom Clancy Game. Bedtime is not negotiable. Be firm about it. Do not have one of those kids who stays up until Nightline is over. For your own safety, never refer to your offspring as belonging solely to your spouse, especially if the child is crying or has really gross poopy diapers. You make it through the first couple months, and nothing that they do on Fear Factor will seem scary to you. There's more, of course, but that should unsettle you quite enough for now.
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#10 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
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Don't have anymore after this one...yep, that works.
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#11 |
Resident President
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Very, very, rural Mississippi
Posts: 83
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Sycamore day cannot possibly be October 13 because that is ThisOleMiss Day.
Forget the beer, send diamonds or cash. Maggie M...
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Why kill them when you can make them live and suffer? |
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#12 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
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Well, Sycamore Day is technically Sunday, the 12th. However, it is observed on the second Monday in October...or third, depending on where the 12th falls.
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#13 |
The Prodigal Brat Returneth
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: North Cackalacky
Posts: 1,107
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I was going to put this in another post, but figured it would better come in handy here...
if you have a JuJu Junior (I felt like I was stuttering there for a minute) - make sure you make potty training fun. With target practice. Toss some cheerios or goldfishies in the bowl, and have him aim. Makes the toilet a lot less 'scary', and may make his wife a LOT happier down the road. (Since ya'll tend to miss and all!) ![]() Dagney
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The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to. |
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#14 |
-◊|≡·∙■·∙≡|◊-
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
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Beestie's tips (I have a 3.625 year old AND a 2.5 year old).
Keep mood altering substances nearby unless you like driving to the 7 freakin' 11 at 10:30 at night because you are not sure you can hold out any longer :-) Love them with all your heart - all they want is love. I know, I know. OleMiss' comments are dead on - read to them. Onyx comment about picking your battles is sage advice - there are simply too many - to win them all is to crush their spirit. One I'll throw in is to make them earn their self-esteem. I don't think spoon-fed self-esteem sticks. My 3yo is in karate and my 2yo is in ballet. I don't force them either - they LOVE it. They are both very strong willed little persons and that gives me considerable joy. I don't discourage them from standing up to daddy but it must be done respectfully and there are consequences if they are wrong. Lastly, pray. Seriously. Kids are more than grownups can bear. A little devine assistance is welcome.
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#15 |
NOT a gay republican
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 49
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Get set up with a computer next to the crib (*THE* crib, not your crib). Then get a subscription to my Rush 24/7 website. Play the days program instead of those silly kids songs and by the time your kid is 5 , they too will be addicted to painkillers.
Or is that....YOU will be....
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