Afghanistan was all about oil! Oops no it wasn't

[Undertoad]

http://www.eurasianet.org/department...av060602.shtml

Summary: Ted Rall and other anti-war people told us that Afghanistan was "targetted" by the administration before 9/11 because they wanted an oil pipeline through it. They appeared to have a point when it turned out that President Karzai had dome some work for Unocal.

Turns out that Unocal hasn't wanted it since 1998 and there are no plans for a pipeline, nor even any demand for one.

[Griff]

Give it time brother! If we crush Pakistan after straightening out Iraq, Iran, Colombia, a Korea, the Ivory Coast, Syria, and a few others we could make it about fuel for India.

[slang]

Afghanistan was all about oil??


There have been many remarks regarding this theory on the Cellar as well as all over the US media. I think Griff made some points on this too. His comments are generally stated in a logical way, and normally inserts some humor. I think Griff is a pretty level headed guy, but I have never really bought into the "(insert military action of your choice here) is all about the oil" movements. At least not in the omnious way it often portayed as.

It may very well sound inconsistent that *I*, as a conspiracy enthusiast, could not see the logic in the Bush/911 and "Bush war for oil" scenarios. You know I love a good conspiracy. Maybe if I read the same books as the anti-war crowd I'd become a believer.

Maybe this sounds like I'm knocking Griff, but I'm not trying to. I'll let my meds kick in and repost something better.

[Griff]

Originally posted by slang

Maybe this sounds like I'm knocking Griff, but I'm not trying to. I'll let my meds kick in and repost something better.

Nah, I don't read it as a knock. My view on Bush and oil wars is this : Bush is oil people. Everybody thinks their sector of the economy is the most important. The oilman thinks America would roll over dead if it started moving toward other fuels. He only sees the destruction in his corner rather than the enormous opportunities that open up elsewhere (not that it wouldn't be a bumpy ride). Therefor in the mind of the oilman, oil = national security. It becomes the trump card, "Yes I believe we should always avoid foreign entanglements but on this one thing we must compromise our ideals." The Democratic vision of US foreign policy is at least as hideous because their interventions are more likely to occur for less hard headed reasons but my real venom is saved for the Republicans because they should know better.

[elSicomoro]

Oh no you don't Griff! You will NOT bring Côte d'Ivoire into this...let the foo-foos in Paris deal with that.

[slang]

Originally posted by Griff
Everybody thinks their sector of the economy is the most important. The oilman thinks America would roll over dead if it started moving toward other fuels.

Now that's something I can agree with.

(WARNING: bullshit conspiracy theory coming up)

On the other hand, there could be other motivations and perpetrators in this war.

Consider this:

The assault rifle cartell has taken some hits in the past 10 years. The 94 ban actually provided a boom for the short term, but the overall sales have been disappointing to the cartell memebers, who wish to have a Bushmaster AR style rifle in every home in America. After the public flocked to the gunshops in droves after the 911 attacks (Bushmaster's "test marketing manipulation") and purchased a record number of their rifles, they have been looking to expand on this strategy.

If the US attacks Iraq, the cartell wins twofold. The military already has approx (?) 100+ k troops in the region. So lets say for the sake of argument that only half of them are issued an M16. They are running desert exercises now and we all know how sand affects pricision machinery, so immediately following the main event they will all be left in country as "used". That creates a lucrative parts market for the cartell and at the same time helps to eliminate any excess inventory. It doesn't matter what country takes delivery of the stockpile of M16s after the war. If we chose to allow the "new and Americanized" Iraqi army have the rifles, we can take payment in crude oil if need be. When the newly installed gov't needs another ass kicking, the next generation M16s will replace the current model that the Iraqis will be using.

Now, lets take a closer look at the maryland sniper shootings and how they relate to the AR cartell. This duo was actually sponsored by the cotton underwear cartell. It was their hope that the public would need some new briefs during this little spree , thus heading off the predicted flat Christmas market for the underwear retailers and saving them from bankruptcy. This was successful for the underwear cartell, but the resulting lawsuits threatened the rifle cartell. How can they sell their rifles to the public if the suits shut them down? So what did they do? They were smart, they took advantage of the sniper shootings by labeling them as a "precursor" to the terrorism that will follow the attack on Iraq. At the same time support is being raised for the idea that whether or not we attack them, there will be many more terrorists getting into the country via our unguarded borders. So either way, the rifle cartell, will clean up. The underwear cartell will also reap direct benefits too, but not as much as the rifle cartell. Lets say just for kicks, the borders will be guarded. Who wins? The rifle cartell, because we all know they will buy tens of thousands of rifles, but the public non-confidence in the border patrol will also boost the civilian market.

Ok, so lets recap here

Us attackes Iraq......RC wins......terrorists strike the homeland.....RC wins (UC wins too)....Bush finally has the borders patrolled.....RC wins

So, as you can clearly see now, this war isn't all about the oil, it's all about the rifles (and the underwear)

[Undertoad]

Brings to mind the South Park underpants gnomes though.

1. Get lots of underpants
2. ?
3. Profit!

[Griff]

Originally posted by slang


Us attackes Iraq......RC wins......terrorists strike the homeland.....RC wins (UC wins too)....Bush finally has the borders patrolled.....RC wins

So even though I now need a refurbished M1, I can't do it because I'm playing into the hands of The Man? Or is this just "Big Rifle" you're talking about.

Sorry Syc, but your government already has advisors in the Coast. I'm not the one bringing them in. The French are in deep do do there, btw, something we should remember when tempted to make French surrender jokes.

[SteveDallas]

Originally posted by Griff


So even though I now need a refurbished M1, I can't do it because I'm playing into the hands of The Man?

Aww come on--- don't you know??? ANYTHING you do plays into the hands of The Man.

[elSicomoro]

Griff, do you REALLY think the Bush administration cares about Africa? You didn't buy into that "we're going to help Africa fight AIDS" thing, did you?

[Griff]

Man, I hate the man.

Syc, lets say you had this ally who was in a real sticky whicket trying to maintain order in a place it used to oppress and you could help this ally out with that problem by putting your troops in instead wouldn't your ally maybe owe you a big favor say giving up opposition to and maybe assisting in...

[Undertoad]

..as well as the three African nations on the UNSC...

[elSicomoro]

Originally posted by Griff
Syc, lets say you had this ally who was in a real sticky whicket trying to maintain order in a place it used to oppress and you could help this ally out with that problem by putting your troops in instead wouldn't your ally maybe owe you a big favor say giving up opposition to and maybe assisting in...

That would assume that we have troops to put in said spot, and that their Uncle Sam is willing to look past the last African adventure 10 years ago.

[slang]

Originally posted by Griff
So even though I now need a refurbished M1, I can't do it because I'm playing into the hands of The Man?

The only way to escape the ever watching eye of The Man is to buy your M1 through a private sale and make your own Man pants. Try not to buy white cotton material for your undergarments though, this may tip off The Man.

As for the women that wish to use this strategy, get creative.

[wolf]

Originally posted by slang


So, as you can clearly see now, this war isn't all about the oil, it's all about the rifles (and the underwear)

Slang, dear, I think it's time that you called me about some new medication ...