How to be a true *insert religion*?

[Beestie]

All we really have to go on are the words uttered by Christ himself. And even those are shaky because they have been translated and edited so many times.

My answer: you can't so just be true to yourself and whenever the idea forms in your head that somehow you have figured it out and need to make sure everyone else understands what they must do to enter heaven, take an iron skillet and slam it into your forehead as though the Lord himself put a cockroach between your eyes in a modern day Abraham test.