To fart or not to fart?

[Elspode]

Dar, I suffered from ulcerative colitis, rather severe, for about five years before they removed my colon (large bowel, in your terms) and left me with an ileostomy (end of small intestine, or the ileum is ported through the lower right quadrant of my abdomen).

The day after my surgery, my surgeon came into my room on his morning rounds and told me that sections of my colon had been viewed by the assembled residents at their morning meeting, and everyone agreed that it was the worst they'd ever seen. They apparently were surprised that it came out of someone who wasn't actually, oh...dead.

Anyway, it isn't attractive, it isn't convenient and the appliances I wear which are used to provide storage of bodily waste are damned expensive, even with insurance, but...I still get to be alive. Resonably fair tradeoff, I think.