Discussing death with kids

[glatt]

Originally Posted by LabRat

We have had several deaths in the family, some of whom my almost 5yo daughter were close to. We explained that so-and-so died.

Did you prepare her for the deaths by saying the person was really sick, etc? Or just wait until after the fact?

Originally Posted by LabRat

We have had no nightmares, etc.

That's good to hear.

Originally Posted by LabRat

I HATED beting told that X was now in heaven watching over me after they died. Seriously gave me the creeps, especially when having sex, to think that all my dead relatives, including my father were 'watching'.

LOL. Me too. Not so much sex as masturbating.

[LabRat]

Originally Posted by glatt

Did you prepare her for the deaths by saying the person was really sick, etc? Or just wait until after the fact?

We visited most of them while they were sick, and explained that they were very sick. My grandma especially, toward the end was pretty much incoherent with her tongue sticking out (if I'd known she was that bad, I might not have brought her, that's not an image of her grandma that I want to stick in her head...) so it was kind of obvious something wasn't right.

We did explain beforehand that they wouldn't be around very long, that's why we want to visit to tell them we loved them etc. As soon as they died we told her, and explained that we would be going to a visitation (and what that was) and then a funeral the next day (and what that was).

You know your child best, but for us, I have always just said what was going on. I want her to be able to trust me.

[Bullitt]

My mom read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Fall-Freddie-L.../dp/0805010645
to the little girl (8 years) of a coworker of my dad's before she passed away from leukemia last week. Read it myself and it really does a great job of explaining death but not making it a scary thing for young kids.