Regrets - Page 4

Aliantha · 03-05-2009, 01:50 PM

That's all true, what both of you have said, and you'd better believe it when SG says I've been through the mill. At least a couple of times.

It's because of this that I have the perspective that I do.

I'm lucky now, but life sometimes deals crap hands even amidst a string of good ones, so I simply cherish what I have and leave the rest to fate.

As to the love situation, I still don't believe it's meant to be that hard. I know this because I once believed myself to be in a similar situation, but I was deluding myself. Most of us torture ourselves with love at some stage of our lives. I just think it's a shame that any of us waste time on people that'll never be our own.

kerosene · 03-05-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

As to the love situation, I still don't believe it's meant to be that hard. I know this because I once believed myself to be in a similar situation, but I was deluding myself. Most of us torture ourselves with love at some stage of our lives. I just think it's a shame that any of us waste time on people that'll never be our own.

I second this. I have been there, too. It's quite miserable. Now, I think..."what the hell was I thinking?"

Cicero · 03-05-2009, 02:20 PM

Unrequited Love:
FAIL.

lol! How obnoxious was that?
Outside of the stupid joke Tiki- are you going to grab a pair and work on your principles from there? It really sounds like you won't commit either way........Is there something principled about that? Please describe the principles as I am reading one thing, and hearing another......

Sounds like: waiting for the next best thing so I won't feel committed or pathological......

03-05-2009, 03:03 PM

Unrequited love does suck, and it is fail. Definitely. But all you can do is deal with it and move on as best you can.

Cicero, I'm not sure what you're talking about... my principles? My husband left me last summer because he couldn't deal with the bustle and responsibility of family life. He wanted a simple, uncluttered life. A few months after he left, I told my friend I am in love with him... but by then, he and his wife were already planning for her to move back in.

I was hurt that he hadn't told me that this was going on, since we saw each other every day, but he thought it would be too hard on me for him to talk about it. It was too painful for me to deal with, so I pushed him out of my life and am trying to get over him and move on. That's it. Won't commit either way to what? I'm committed to living my life, raising my kids, and getting over my twice-broken heart so I can be ready to meet someone else someday.

What principles do you think I'm conflicted on?

DanaC · 03-05-2009, 06:09 PM

Unrequited love sucks. I spent a year and a half pining away with a does he, doesn't he know? pile of nonsense. very disruptive. Got rightin the way of my studies. Ended up with him briefly. Just long enough to realise the love was just infatuation and I am happier single :P

Tiki, you don't sound remotely conflicted on your principles.

Queen of the Ryche · 03-06-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Mine was at the bottom of that cliff.

mine was at the bottom of that cliff with it's mouth open.

03-06-2009, 02:03 PM

My stupid little heart is even more crushed today because I thought I could extend an olive branch to my friend, but he won't reply.

Stupid stupid stupid heart.

Cicero · 03-06-2009, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiki

Unrequited love does suck, and it is fail. Definitely. But all you can do is deal with it and move on as best you can.

Cicero, I'm not sure what you're talking about... my principles? My husband left me last summer because he couldn't deal with the bustle and responsibility of family life. He wanted a simple, uncluttered life. A few months after he left, I told my friend I am in love with him... but by then, he and his wife were already planning for her to move back in.

I was hurt that he hadn't told me that this was going on, since we saw each other every day, but he thought it would be too hard on me for him to talk about it. It was too painful for me to deal with, so I pushed him out of my life and am trying to get over him and move on. That's it. Won't commit either way to what? I'm committed to living my life, raising my kids, and getting over my twice-broken heart so I can be ready to meet someone else someday.

What principles do you think I'm conflicted on?

Well that certainly did remedy the question.

I don't think you are, it just sounded like it for 2 seconds. I do hope things get better for you.

An olive branch to your friend? No reply? Were you arguing?

03-06-2009, 05:10 PM

I couldn't talk to him for a while because of his wife moving back in. I said some really mean things about her, and then I told him I couldn't see him for a while because my emotions were out of control and I didn't want to say angry things to him.

So we didn't talk for a month, and then I messaged him saying that I was feeling like I could do a better job of being a friend now, and he didn't reply for a few days, which really hurt. But he's replied now, and I am feeling a lot better about things.

Cicero · 03-06-2009, 05:30 PM

Yah, that reminds me of something I am learning. I am welcome to stick my toe over the line, and I am also welcome to get it stepped on when I do so. Fair is fair.

I myself, am forgetting everyone that isn't involved with the enhancement of my life. That means everyone. I, for the first time in a long time am not emotionally involved with anyone, and it feels fantastic! Love it! Love it! I am being so selfish about putting my life back together that there really is no room for a romantic nuisance.

But, I also am not like you and don't have a best friend that means a lot in the way that yours does. A lot of my best friends are women so there really is no confusion about the relationships or sexual roles. I feel for you.........In my experience, when I did date my best friend in the past, I found out quickly that the friendship was better, and the dating? Not so much. Not what I had imagined.....And I proceeded to lose my best friend of years that way.............

Enough about me:
I am glad you guys got it patched up.

03-06-2009, 05:44 PM

Thanks!

I've been divorced and heartbroken before, and I know it will just take some time for me to get happy with my life the way it is. I am fortunate to have some really great friends, and they've helped a lot!

I've dated friends before, we always just went back to being friends afterward. I guess we just had to try it out. Except my previous ex-husband... I hang out with him sometimes, but we never quite made it back to real "friendship". Too much water under the bridge.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-07-2009, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

snip~ I am happier single :P

Me too, but is is nice to have a fuck buddy... or two.

Sundae · 03-08-2009, 07:13 AM

What I wouldn't give right now just for an intelligent man, who gets my sense of humour, and finds my physically attractive. Oh, and lives in driving distance.

Is it so much to ask? Really? I'll come to your house and cook steak and give you a BJ and have great sex. But it isn't as easy as that, is it? Ah well. I'm on a diet and in therapy. Maybe one day.

Trilby · 03-08-2009, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Me too, but is is nice to have a fuck buddy... or two.

Agreed. It's nice to have one, but not essential. I'm happier single, too.

Trilby · 03-08-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

What I wouldn't give right now just for an intelligent man, who gets my sense of humour, and finds my physically attractive. Oh, and lives in driving distance.

You're young and this desire is completely normal and rational. At my age, it's a pipe dream.

03-05-2009, 01:50 PM	#46
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	That's all true, what both of you have said, and you'd better believe it when SG says I've been through the mill. At least a couple of times. It's because of this that I have the perspective that I do. I'm lucky now, but life sometimes deals crap hands even amidst a string of good ones, so I simply cherish what I have and leave the rest to fate. As to the love situation, I still don't believe it's meant to be that hard. I know this because I once believed myself to be in a similar situation, but I was deluding myself. Most of us torture ourselves with love at some stage of our lives. I just think it's a shame that any of us waste time on people that'll never be our own. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-05-2009, 02:20 PM	#48
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Unrequited Love: FAIL. lol! How obnoxious was that? Outside of the stupid joke Tiki- are you going to grab a pair and work on your principles from there? It really sounds like you won't commit either way........Is there something principled about that? Please describe the principles as I am reading one thing, and hearing another...... Sounds like: waiting for the next best thing so I won't feel committed or pathological...... __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

03-06-2009, 05:30 PM	#55
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Yah, that reminds me of something I am learning. I am welcome to stick my toe over the line, and I am also welcome to get it stepped on when I do so. Fair is fair. I myself, am forgetting everyone that isn't involved with the enhancement of my life. That means everyone. I, for the first time in a long time am not emotionally involved with anyone, and it feels fantastic! Love it! Love it! I am being so selfish about putting my life back together that there really is no room for a romantic nuisance. But, I also am not like you and don't have a best friend that means a lot in the way that yours does. A lot of my best friends are women so there really is no confusion about the relationships or sexual roles. I feel for you.........In my experience, when I did date my best friend in the past, I found out quickly that the friendship was better, and the dating? Not so much. Not what I had imagined.....And I proceeded to lose my best friend of years that way............. Enough about me: I am glad you guys got it patched up. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

03-08-2009, 07:13 AM	#58
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	What I wouldn't give right now just for an intelligent man, who gets my sense of humour, and finds my physically attractive. Oh, and lives in driving distance. Is it so much to ask? Really? I'll come to your house and cook steak and give you a BJ and have great sex. But it isn't as easy as that, is it? Ah well. I'm on a diet and in therapy. Maybe one day. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-05-2009, 03:03 PM	#49
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	Unrequited love does suck, and it is fail. Definitely. But all you can do is deal with it and move on as best you can. Cicero, I'm not sure what you're talking about... my principles? My husband left me last summer because he couldn't deal with the bustle and responsibility of family life. He wanted a simple, uncluttered life. A few months after he left, I told my friend I am in love with him... but by then, he and his wife were already planning for her to move back in. I was hurt that he hadn't told me that this was going on, since we saw each other every day, but he thought it would be too hard on me for him to talk about it. It was too painful for me to deal with, so I pushed him out of my life and am trying to get over him and move on. That's it. Won't commit either way to what? I'm committed to living my life, raising my kids, and getting over my twice-broken heart so I can be ready to meet someone else someday. What principles do you think I'm conflicted on?

03-05-2009, 06:09 PM	#50
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Unrequited love sucks. I spent a year and a half pining away with a does he, doesn't he know? pile of nonsense. very disruptive. Got rightin the way of my studies. Ended up with him briefly. Just long enough to realise the love was just infatuation and I am happier single :P Tiki, you don't sound remotely conflicted on your principles.

03-06-2009, 02:03 PM	#52
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	My stupid little heart is even more crushed today because I thought I could extend an olive branch to my friend, but he won't reply. Stupid stupid stupid heart.

03-06-2009, 05:10 PM	#54
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	I couldn't talk to him for a while because of his wife moving back in. I said some really mean things about her, and then I told him I couldn't see him for a while because my emotions were out of control and I didn't want to say angry things to him. So we didn't talk for a month, and then I messaged him saying that I was feeling like I could do a better job of being a friend now, and he didn't reply for a few days, which really hurt. But he's replied now, and I am feeling a lot better about things.

03-06-2009, 05:44 PM	#56
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks! I've been divorced and heartbroken before, and I know it will just take some time for me to get happy with my life the way it is. I am fortunate to have some really great friends, and they've helped a lot! I've dated friends before, we always just went back to being friends afterward. I guess we just had to try it out. Except my previous ex-husband... I hang out with him sometimes, but we never quite made it back to real "friendship". Too much water under the bridge.

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