Suicidal friend

[Juniper]

Thinking about hurting my loved ones has only helped sometimes when I'm feeling really dark and down. Other times, my brain tells me that they'd be better off without me anyhow and that once they get over the initial pain, their lives will be improved. Of course, I know that's not true, when I'm feeling more rational.

I'll tell you what saved me. I figured that if I was going to do myself in anyway, I might as well take a chance and change something big in my life that I wouldn't ordinarily have the courage to change. What did I have to lose? That proactive feeling empowered me - if I felt trapped, it suddenly sprung open the door.

Proof, I suppose, that it's always darkest before the dawn. Metaphorically.