About at my journey's end

[BigV]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I can relate to that. There were times with J, I wished I could surreptitiously record the conversation to be able to play it back after and try and make some fucking sense of it. And to have some kind of anchor for when half of what was said or agreed got edited out or altered in his memory. Other times I just wished someone else was there to see and maybe tell hm things he'd refuse to see if I was saying them. Kept landing in bizarroland conversations out the blue.

Not exactly the same, but I suspect it felt similar.

Sounds like a shitty tme 3ft. Hope you find a way through or over that doesn't hurt too much.

wow Dana. I remember that same feeling very clearly. Recording the conversation turned out to be both impossibly clunky and utterly simple. We'd start a conversation/argument and within a couple sentences, we were arguing about what the other said/meant. This became such a habit it was practically unavoidable. Needless to say, we worked out practically nothing.

The answer to "recording" the conversations was simple too. We communicate mostly via email now for just this very reason. Of course, we still argue. But the volume is lower, and the you said she said he said is down to almost zero. OF COURSE, deciding to communicate via email while bumping elbows over the sink at tooth brushing time is ridiculous.

But having that record made communication possible again.

Sadly, to get to that point (email), we first had to use "training wheels" (read: Attorney$). That is to be avoided if possible.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by BigV

OF COURSE, deciding to communicate via email while bumping elbows over the sink at tooth brushing time is ridiculous.

There are times when I've done it, though. It accomplishes what you've said, plus there's a sense of importance when you see something in writing. My wife sometimes does not hear what I say, and this technique does make a difference. On the other hand, we're now in counselling.