You know the end is nearer than the beginning when...

[Nothing But Net]

"Dating a woman" means trying to figure out how old she is.

Taking off your socks is almost impossible without at least two participants.

You pee in the backyard instead of the bathroom because it's nearer.

You stop worrying about death because it only means you get to sleep later every day.

Somebody is choking and you start trying to remember how to do the Alzheimer's Maneuver.

Your ZIP code begins with a number greater than 2, or you wish it did.

Crack was an end to a means, not a means to an end.