About at my journey's end

footfootfoot · 05-22-2011, 06:05 PM

Every time homegirl comes back from a visit with her mom she is a mental wreck AND a total bitch to me and the kids. I've tried talking with her about this many many times. Denial is not just a river in Africa.

Ready to throw in the towel today...

Aliantha · 05-22-2011, 06:20 PM

What do you mean by throw in the towel? Get divorced? Break up?

zippyt · 05-22-2011, 06:21 PM

Naa , its cheaper to keep her

xoxoxoBruce · 05-22-2011, 06:23 PM

Well, he has a rifle now.

Griff · 05-22-2011, 07:00 PM

ssshhhhhhh!

footfootfoot · 05-22-2011, 07:16 PM

like get divorced and break up.

DanaC · 05-22-2011, 07:23 PM

How often does she go to her mum's 3ft ?

Undertoad · 05-22-2011, 07:26 PM

down with any broad that doesn't dig footer.

Griff · 05-22-2011, 07:48 PM

jeesus, sorry bro. you deserve better than you're getting

Aliantha · 05-22-2011, 08:02 PM

That really sucks foot. Sometimes you just can't do more than you've done. We've all been where you're headed (well, most of us) and it's a sucky place to be. I'll hope for a miracle for you.

monster · 05-22-2011, 08:30 PM

How long does it usually last for after she gets back?

Clodfobble · 05-22-2011, 10:12 PM

Sorry to hear it's gotten this bad, foot. Dana and monster are asking the right questions though. I would also add, does her mom live in town now?

It would be cheaper, and better for the kids (divorce stress aside, they're still going to have to deal with their mom being bitchy even if you successfully extricate yourself from it) if you could enforce a buffer period. Like maybe tack on an all-day spa treatment after every visit, before she's allowed to come home. Lay it out right, and it could be "for her" and not for you.

ZenGum · 05-23-2011, 01:02 AM

Well, there is the woodchuck solution ... applied to the MIL, I emphasise!

Seriously, what Clod said. Related: Australian soldiers in Vietnam were stagering back to base from R&R so pissed and hung-over that they were useless the next day. A rule had to be brought in that their last (I think) 24 hours of R&R were on base and dry. Gave them time to sober up before more soldiering.

So if it is viable, maybe a few hours getting massaged, soaked, aromatherapised, etc might improve Homegirl.

If not, have the massage yourself. She'll still be the same, only you won't mind so much.

casimendocina · 05-23-2011, 03:52 AM

All of the advice above sounds good-implementable? Is the considering divorce bit only because of how she is when she gets back from her mum's or are there other contributing factors?

monster · 05-23-2011, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

How long does it usually last for after she gets back?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

successfully extricate yourself from it) if you could enforce a buffer period. Like maybe tack on an all-day spa treatment after every visit, before she's allowed to come home. Lay it out right, and it could be "for her" and not for you.

Yes, this is where I was headed, although I was thinking a day out for you and the sprogs while she "settles in" back home. Clod's solution is craftier, but is just "being away" a factor as well as mom? Some people are stressed by being away from home and when they get back home and start to feel in familiar surroundings, that's when they relax enough to let the stress go -sometimes not to good effect. Perhaps if you are just out of the fall-out zone when this happens? Maybe a compromise -a spa day at home?

05-22-2011, 06:05 PM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	About at my journey's end Every time homegirl comes back from a visit with her mom she is a mental wreck AND a total bitch to me and the kids. I've tried talking with her about this many many times. Denial is not just a river in Africa. Ready to throw in the towel today... __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-22-2011, 06:20 PM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	What do you mean by throw in the towel? Get divorced? Break up? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-22-2011, 06:21 PM	#3
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Naa , its cheaper to keep her __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

05-22-2011, 06:23 PM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Well, he has a rifle now. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-22-2011, 07:00 PM	#5
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	ssshhhhhhh! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

05-22-2011, 07:16 PM	#6
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	like get divorced and break up. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-22-2011, 07:26 PM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	down with any broad that doesn't dig footer.

05-22-2011, 07:48 PM	#9
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	jeesus, sorry bro. you deserve better than you're getting __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

05-22-2011, 08:02 PM	#10
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	That really sucks foot. Sometimes you just can't do more than you've done. We've all been where you're headed (well, most of us) and it's a sucky place to be. I'll hope for a miracle for you. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-22-2011, 08:30 PM	#11
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	How long does it usually last for after she gets back? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-22-2011, 10:12 PM	#12
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Sorry to hear it's gotten this bad, foot. Dana and monster are asking the right questions though. I would also add, does her mom live in town now? It would be cheaper, and better for the kids (divorce stress aside, they're still going to have to deal with their mom being bitchy even if you successfully extricate yourself from it) if you could enforce a buffer period. Like maybe tack on an all-day spa treatment after every visit, before she's allowed to come home. Lay it out right, and it could be "for her" and not for you. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

05-23-2011, 01:02 AM	#13
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Well, there is the woodchuck solution ... applied to the MIL, I emphasise! Seriously, what Clod said. Related: Australian soldiers in Vietnam were stagering back to base from R&R so pissed and hung-over that they were useless the next day. A rule had to be brought in that their last (I think) 24 hours of R&R were on base and dry. Gave them time to sober up before more soldiering. So if it is viable, maybe a few hours getting massaged, soaked, aromatherapised, etc might improve Homegirl. If not, have the massage yourself. She'll still be the same, only you won't mind so much. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

05-23-2011, 03:52 AM	#14
casimendocina Professor Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,622	All of the advice above sounds good-implementable? Is the considering divorce bit only because of how she is when she gets back from her mum's or are there other contributing factors?

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