Depressing/ Suicide

[footfootfoot]

One of the things many people don't realize about depression is that is can completely change your reality. Just as you now think and feel and know to be true that suicide isn't the answer (for the sake of argument) depression makes an entirely different reality true. As true as your name and address. You are worthless. No one cares if you live or die. There is absolutely no future for you.

These thoughts are the reality for many depressed people. Reality as in un-assailably true, not a mood or a feeling. As true as your name and address and the sky being blue. People telling you that you are loved and worthy mean as much as someone telling you that if you wish hard enough you'll win the lottery without a ticket.

I've never been one to walk out of a movie before it's overm but I am lucky to have a mind that is able to know the thoughts aren't true and that like a bad case of food poisoning they will pass and I just have to ride them out. They are there along with all their shitty friends; shame, judgement, and ridicule.

A big motivator for me is that I don't want You Know Who being the sole author of my kids' lives.